CH 1
The Gathering Storm
It was finally the end of the school day, and David left his last class and headed down the hallway. He tried to cram his books into his locker, but it was already quite full. Junior year was proving to be particularly hard for him to keep up with, and his teachers were not making it any easier for him. Kyle came up while David was trying to shove the last book into his locker, but once he got it in, they all tumbled out onto the floor. He helped David pick up his books and try to fit them back in.
"You should really clean this thing out. You still have stuff from freshman year in here." He said as he peered at a chocolate donut that must have been there for the better part of a year.
"I'll clean it out when I leave this school at the end of senior year." David said grudgingly.
Kyle's piercing blue eyes turned on him accusingly, "Oh, so you'll just keep putting it off as long as you can?"
David returned the stare and answered "Yeah, why not?"
Kyle looked away. He wasn't as stubborn as David, so he changed the subject. "Hey, can you drop me off at the library? I need to get to work on that History project soon." Kyle would usually get a ride home from David, because his parents were too busy to pick him up, and he didn't want to ride the bus. He couldn't afford his own car yet, but he was trying to save up for one. Yet, things like movies and video games kept him from reaching this goal.
"But! It's due in like
two weeks! You still have plenty of time," David stammered out.
David's friend Sarah walked by and waved and David lost all other thoughts. He had had a crush on Sarah as long as he could remember but never had the nerve to tell her, so they just remained friends.
"Yeah, I'd rather get it done now so that I don't have to stay up the night before frantically trying to finish it, and asking my friend for all the information." Kyle said bringing back David's attention with a note of sarcasm and a sideways glance.
David sighed. "Fine. I'll work on mine too
Now will you calm down?"
They started walking out of the school, only to find the sky grey and overcast. They heard the distant rumblings of thunder; the beginning of a spring thunderstorm.
"Ugh. I hate this weather!" David scowled. "I hope this just passes over."
"I love storms." Kyle said as looked up at the sky apparently not hearing what David had said.
A fork of lightning licked the sky right in front of them, and it lit up the whole horizon with its energy. They felt the vibration of the thunder, and Kyle glanced vacantly at the darkening clouds.
"Holy crap, that was close!" David said as he massaged his ears. "I hope I'm not deaf after that."
"Come on; let's hurry before we get drenched." David said to Kyle as he broke into a run. Kyle reluctantly followed, but kept looking up.
All of a sudden, David felt the hairs on the back of his neck prick up. He knew that your hair stood up before a lightning strike that was going to be very close, so he ran even faster. He turned to tell this to Kyle, but saw that he had started to sprint ahead of him. He put on a burst of speed and caught up with Kyle, but he saw that he looked like he was actually worried.
"Hurry up!" Kyle yelled over another blast of tumultuous thunder as he passed David yet again.
"That's what I just said!" David panted as he tried to keep up.
So, they both hurried to the car, and tried to get in as quickly as they could. David fumbled with his keys for a moment then heard the locks click, and they both jumped in the car. As soon as they got in, David heard the drumming of rain on the roof of the car. Just made it, he thought.
"Forget the library. Let's just get home." Kyle said looking out of the window nervously.
"I thought you said you liked storms. Changing your mind?" said David with a taunting grin.
"Just go." Kyle barked.
"Okay, I'm going." David noticed that Kyle was still being serious, so he didn't argue. "They say that the first five minutes after it starts to rain is the most dangerous time to drive.
Kyle didn't respond. He seemed lost in thought.
The conditions on the drive home only worsened. David was barely able to see the road through the thick rain that was pouring down. Kyle was still very tense, and he was tapping his fingers against one of his books absentmindedly.
"What's wrong with you?" David said.
"Nothing." Kyle replied almost too quickly, and his fingers kept tapping the book.
"Will you stop that?" David burst out. "It's hard enough to concentrate on the road without that noise." David said in his agitation.
"Oh. Sorry." Kyle said, and he stopped immediately. Then there was a silence that was almost drowned out by the sound of the rain as it continued to fall even harder.
David sighed. "Sorry for snapping at you
" He looked over at Kyle. His eyes were darting all around, taking in the landscape.
"It's okay," Kyle replied quickly.
Then, when David looked back to face the road, something happened. It was hard to comprehend at first. It was as though the car had hit some immovable object, like a wall, but there was nothing in the road in front of them. Also, there seemed to be no damage done to the car, though many of the things David had in his back seat were thrown to the front, and a baseball, among the piles of junk, was thrown to the rear-view mirror and it shattered the reflection when it hit.
Then, the window next to David shattered explosively and sent glass showering in all directions, and David felt the glass brush by his face. While he was still trying to comprehend what happened with the glass, the car became airborne, and started to flip forward. The sudden jerk that lifted them off of the ground caused droplets of blood to drip from David's face where the glass had grazed him. The car was now upside down, and David was stunned. He looked over at Kyle who actually seemed calm, even though he was so nervous a few seconds ago when things were all right. He also noticed that Kyle's face had no cuts or any glass shards on it, and actually, his window was still intact. Kyle seemed to be thinking, as though he were simply pondering about the situation.
Now the car was right side up again, and things seemed to go in slow motion for David. He watched as the car continued to flip, and he looked at the rear view mirror in a short period of odd sanity to see if there was anything behind them that could have done this to his car, but he couldn't make anything out from the shattered reflection that the mirror provided. Then fear rushed over and consumed him as the car started to flip again.
He looked over at Kyle again, and Kyle was looking at the ceiling of the car as though judging it somehow. Then as the car rotated again, so that it was now right side up, Kyle took off his own seatbelt. He looked over to David and ripped his seatbelt off as though it were made of tissue paper. Then, he grabbed his shoulder, and pulled David upwards towards the ceiling of the car, and pushed himself out of his own seat with amazing strength. David flung his hands in front of his face and closed his eyes as they reached the top of the car. But instead of feeling the hard plastic ceiling, he felt the cold air and wet rain on his hands. He opened his eyes in disbelief, and saw the material of the car bending around his and Kyle's arms as they pushed upwards. Then his head was through and he looked down to see the metal moving apart to allow his waist through. Then, with a huge jolt of power, Kyle kicked off of his seat and pulled himself and David clear of the car, and they were suspended in the air as the car continued to move forward. All of this took about five seconds.
David looked at the top of the car that he had just passed through, and he saw that it was closing up again as it flipped through the air.
Everything went back to normal speed, and he and Kyle started falling towards the ground, and Kyle landed gracefully from his ten-foot fall. Luckily Kyle was still holding on to David, and he held him up as David's legs crumpled beneath him. Kyle tried to pull him to his feet, but David sank to his knees instead.
Kyle turned his attention to the car, which landed on all four tires and stopped moving altogether.
David was panting heavily, and he looked at the ground while he went over in his head what had just happened.
Then, he looked up at Kyle's calm determined face, and noticed some strange aura of energy coming off of him. It was then that he noticed that he wasn't feeling the rain anymore. He looked to his left, and saw that it was still raining, and then he saw the same on his right. Finally he looked above Kyle and saw that as the rain came near to him, it was repelled and sent off in a different direction.
He stared up at Kyle's face in awe and fear. Is this still my friend Kyle? He thought.
Kyle looked down at David and put his hand out to help him up, but David shrank back in fear. All Kyle said was, "Come on, we have to go. They've found you."
Ch 2
Aftermath
David looked up at Kyle uncertainly. He was afraid of him now.
He thought he couldn't trust Kyle anymore. But, then he realized that Kyle did just save his life. He had so many questions he wanted to ask all at once, and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answers.
He tried to speak, but no words would come. Finally he stammered out, "What
What just happened?"
Kyle's eyes filled with concern and he said, "I'm not sure yet, but all I know now is that we have to keep you safe. They've found you and
We need to get away from here. I know where we'll go."
"That's all you have to say?" David yelled motioning to the car and themselves wondering why all of this had happened.
David couldn't take it anymore; he decided he wanted those answers, so he blurted out, "What!? First of all, who are 'they'? And where are we going to go?" He paused. "Wait! I'm not going anywhere! I'm going home. I don't know what that thing is we just hit, and I don't know what I'm going to do about my car! But, I'm going home
right now."
"They can't help you now." Kyle said calmly
"Who?" David was fed up with the vagueness of Kyle's talk.
"Your parents. Your family
"
"I don't care what you say! I'm going home!" David started walking down the street, and he realized he was going the wrong way.
"No!" Kyle's voice gained a serious tone now. "We need to leave. They may still be out there."
David turned around. "What's out there?"
"Never mind that now. We need to go."
"WHERE?" David yelled in frustration.
"Away from here is the most important thing right now, but we have a place to go. We do need a way of getting there
" Kyle trailed off.
"I could talk to my parents and
" David started. Then he stopped. Did he really just say that? It was as though his thoughts were no longer in control of his words.
"You really think your parents are going to let you leave your house and go somewhere after this?" Kyle interrupted.
"True. David said, but it seemed as though it wasnt him talking. Then he came back to reality. But we're not going anywhere! I'm staying here till we sort this out!"
"It's not safe here! But we do need someplace to go near here to prepare for our trip."
"I have some money saved we could use for gas, that is, if my car still..." David stopped again. He couldn't believe he was taking what Kyle said seriously. For some reason beyond his ability to comprehend, he trusted what Kyle had said. It was as though something
or someone else had awoken in him and was taking charge.
"Okay, let's go then. Oh, and your car should still be fine." Kyle said. David was starting to regret his suggestion.
"I think we should calm down and just think about these things before we go storming off to do something about it." David said slowly, hoping Kyle would agree.
"Well, I'd agree with you if we had time." Kyle said as he walked towards the car.
David started to say something, and then stopped. He conceded to getting in the car, but only to get away from this place so he could sort things out, and more importantly to sort himself out.
"By the way
How do you do that?" David asked, trying to lighten the situation.
"What?"
David pointed upwards toward the rain's scattered droplets.
"That, I will have to tell you later," was all Kyle said, but David expected it.
Yet, as they both got into the car, Kyle started to explain things
slightly.
"You see I believe that what we were attacked by was a Mælethrocant. That is a person who can do similar things to what you have seen me do, but
they use their power in a much different way than we
I do."
David sat with a blank look on his face, because to him, none of this made any sense.
"The point is," Kyle continued, "these things are after you right now, and I can't say much as to how they know about you."
"Why would it matter if these mal
things knew who I was?"
"Oh, that's right; you do not even know what you are yet. Okay, did you see what just happened to your car?"
"Yes, but
"
"They are trying to kill you. We need to leave now, and there will be plenty of time for explaining on the way."
"The way to where?" David asked.
"Oregon."
"What!? Why Oregon?"
"Does that really matter now? Come on, we need to get some things to travel with, we have to leave today."
David was surprised at how lightly he was taking this. It was almost as if this newly discovered side of himself had expected something like this to happen, and now that it was he was ready. It was a very strange feeling; so foreign in fact, that it didn't even feel like it was his feeling at all.
CH 3
Journeys Begin
They got to the car and snuck back to their houses to pack the belongings they wanted. So Kyle began to plan their trip, when David suddenly thought of something.
"Wait, aren't we going to say bye to Sarah?"
"We could, but then we'd have to explain everything to her."
"Okay, and what's wrong with that?" David said in an irritated voice.
Kyle looked up from his plans, looked David in the eyes, and said, "We can't have everybody knowing what's going on. We're trying to do this in secret you know."
"Well, if you won't let me tell my parents, at least let me talk to Sarah."
"And the whole town while we're at it?" Kyle said sarcastically.
"No, just Sarah, then we can leave."
"Alright. Alright."
David took a U-turn and headed back to town. Kyle allowed David to write a letter to his parents to explain that he left, but not why. David had no idea what to write and stared at the paper in front of him for a good while, then he just wrote simple goodbyes and told them they didn't need to worry, and that he was all right. He didn't like the thought of his mother finding the note and wondering where he was and why he had left, but it was the best he could do.
Before David dropped off the letter he asked, "Will we be able to come back soon or
" He trailed off.
"Not as soon as you would like." Is all Kyle responded with.
"But
What are we going to tell your parents?" David said.
"They won't even notice I'm gone."
"Oh, shut up. Your parents aren't that bad."
"No, they won't notice that I'm gone, because I don't want them to notice that I am gone." Kyle said coolly.
"What? You mean you made them forget you?" David asked remembering what Kyle could do.
"I did what they
What I had to." Kyle said with odd and saddening determination. "Listen, that's not important now. We're here; now let's go talk to Sarahs then leave as soon as we can."
"But
But I... Ugh never mind."
They got out of the car and walked to Sarah's front door and knocked. Her mom answered the door with a puzzled look on her face.
"Is Sarah here?" David asked politely.
"No, I thought she was with you." Her mom responded. "She hasn't come home from school yet today. Maybe she went to another friend's house
"
David took out his cell phone and started to dial Sarah's number when her mom said, "She left her phone in her room
I think she forgot it." She had a worried look on her face.
"She's probably just at a friends house." Kyle said quickly. "Well, we gotta go. Goodbye." Kyle said as he walked back to the car. David was left in an awkward silence, so he quickly said goodbye, then followed Kyle.
When they were in the car, David said, "That was rude, and I wonder where Sarah is."
"Look, we need to leave; we've put this off long enough." Kyle snapped.
"We should find her." David said persistently. "We could check the library at least, if she isn't there, then we can leave."
"Alright, but we need to hurry." Kyle was looking near anger, so David didn't respond.
They got to the library and scoured the aisles of books looking for Sarah. They asked the librarian if she had seen her today, but she hadn't.
"She should come in later today though; she has a couple books due." The librarian said as she looked at them over the top of her glasses.
"Where did she go?" David wondered aloud.
"We're leaving now, seriously. Come on, I'm driving." Kyle said with an air of impatience.
"So where exactly are we going in Oregon?" David asked skeptically.
"The coast." David said as he started the car.
"Well, can we make that trip in one day?"
"No, coming from Iowa, we'll have to stop in Wyoming now, because we've wasted so much time. I was planning to get to Idaho by tonight."
"You really have this all planned out, don't you?" David asked, smiling because he was reminded of the old Kyle.
"Yeah, and we're going to have to sleep in your car tonight, because I want to make the money last as long as it can. Just in case" Kyle said as he was peering at a map.
"Would it really be safe to just sleep in the car with that Mal
thing out there?" David remarked in a worried tone.
"It would be just as safe as anywhere else, because it would take more than a building to stop them."
"How many of them are there?" David asked, because he had only thought about there being one until now.
"I have no idea. But the sooner we can get to safe shelter, the better. I can only protect you for so long."
"So, have you been protecting me from these things all the time?"
"No, that was actually their first attack on you, and it came much earlier than we, or I expected it to."
"Why are they even after me? What did I do?" David asked more to himself than Kyle.
"It's not what you did, but what you are going to do." Kyle sighed. "You are going to become greater than any of us can even imagine. You know those things that you have seen me do?"
"I'll be able to do that?"
"That's only the beginning for you."














Comments
After chapter 1 I am left with a " whaaaaaat is going on?" and totally interested.
Chapter 2 needs more description - how the environment looks, how the car looks after they get out, what the characters are doing when they speak. No one talks standing perfectly still.
Also, try not to use "!" very often. Allow your words to describe how the character is reacting. too many exclamation marks really clogs up the writing and takes away from the effect.
Same with Chapter 3 - you need to add more detail so the reader can see the world.
Great plot so far, I am interested
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Publishing: How to write a Query
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I will keep it in mind the next time I revise. And thanks for the support
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